But — isn’t there something so fabulously proper about weddings with dignity and decorum? A polished, serene ceremony. A glorious supper. Getaway cars that gleam with history. Herewith, all the new ways to achieve old-school wedding perfection.
The just-right jewelry: The just-right jewelry: Jacqueline Kennedy, the Duchess of Kent and Queen Elizabeth all wore classic pearls on their wedding day — you should, too. (Think of them as bits of wisdom, kept close.) Mikimoto one-of-a-kind pearl necklace, to order at Bachendorf’s
Images: Kate Middleton in Alexander McQueen; Romona Keveza at Neiman Marcus, Stanley Korshak; Monique Lhuillier at Neiman Marcus, Warren Barrón Bridal; Grace Kelly and Prince Rainier, 1956
The dress, divine: Lace + Grace + Kate = the most ravishing way to walk the aisle. Lace is officially, beautifully back.
The sublime shoe: Walk like a lady in the definitive wedding-day shoe by Manolo Blahnik, the Sedaraby stiletto. At Neiman Marcus.
The much-needed charm: “… and a lucky sixpence in her shoe!” That’s the oft-forgotten coda to the advice about things old, new, borrowed and blue. Brides who pay attention to tradition slip a shiny dime into their left shoe; Grace Kelly, for good karma, had a copper penny built into her right one. Either way, what price luck?
Sartorial slip-on: The groom should mark the special occasion with monogrammed velvet evening slippers embroidered with 18K-gold-wire thread. Stubbs & Wootton bespoke evening slippers, starting at $900, at Stubbs & Wootton, 212.249.5200; stubbsandwootton.com.
The new standard: Kate and Wills’ oh-wow nuptials have moved the wedding bar firmly into the 21st century. The details were equal parts established and edgy. Middleton’s marvelous dress? A thoroughly modern silhouette in satin gazar, designed by Sarah Burton for the house of Alexander McQueen, but augmented with lace that had been hand-worked using an 1820s Irish technique. The prince’s scarlet tunic celebrated his newly minted status as a Colonel of the Regiment of the Irish Guards, but it was made by the same British firm that supplied uniforms to both armies in the Battle of Gettysburg. The music for the daytime ceremony was laden with traditional British compositions, but the nighttime reception was headlined by 24-year-old Ellie Goulding, whose first album — a whirl of “electro-folk-pop” — debuted just last year. Even the cars that whisked the wedding party around (contemporary Bentleys and Jaguars mixed with pedigreed old Rolls-Royces) made for a parade of the past and present, seamlessly blended. What to take away from it all? When it comes to your big day, cleave to honored traditions, but touch off a few new ones, too.
The fabulous flowers: Carry a small posy of lily of the valley: Carolyn Bessette Kennedy did.
Image: Grace Kelly arriving for her wedding, 1956
"… the chauffeur wears a small bunch of white flowers on his coat, and white gloves, and has all the tires painted white to give the car a wedding appearance.”… the chauffeur wears a small bunch of white flowers on his coat, and white gloves, and has all the tires painted white to give the car a wedding appearance.” — from Etiquette In Society, In Business, In Politics, And At Home (1922) by Emily Post
The most romantic ride: Miss Middleton got to the church (on time) in a vintage Rolls-Royce. Princess Grace and Prince Rainier paraded to the reception in their new one, circa 1956. Forgo a limousine in favor of a terribly proper icon — with patina. Information cloud9coach.com, romanticremembrances.com.
The tasteful tunes: Grace and Rainier had Georgia Gibbs. Jackie and John had Meyer Davis. Everybody else had Lester Lanin. Thanks to iTunes, you can have them all at your reception — from Gibbs crooning “My Old Flame” to Davis steering his orchestra through “The Night They Invented Champagne.” Prim, percolating, perfect.
Image: Sapphire-and-diamond ring from the deBoulle Estate Collection, price upon request, at deBoulle
"Just imagine the endless stories a true romantic can create knowing their piece has been passed down through time.” — Denis Boulle, owner, deBoulle
Images: The Gardens at Lee Park; Jackie & John, 1953
The lush location: Nothing feels as deliciously old-school as an outdoor reception. Host yours in a beautiful garden, as Jackie and John did in 1953 at her stepfather’s estate in Newport, Rhode Island. Plan your day at The Gardens at Lee Park, nine acres of landscaped parkland with arbors, waterfalls and pavilions.
The elegant whiff: Creed’s unforgettable Fleurissimo — a concoction of tuberose, violet, Florentine iris and Bulgarian rose — commissioned from the French fragrance house by a certain prince of Monaco for his certain graceful bride. It will give your day an air of royalty, indeed. 2.5 ounces $225, at neimanmarcus.com.
Place settings with pedigree: Use pieces of the family’s silver, or set the bride’s table with antique china and crystal, suggests Dallas event designer Tom Addis.
"Find the right stationer who is well-versed in etiquette. Your invitation serves as much more than a date planner: It is an introduction of you, an indication of your aesthetic and a foreshadowing of the type of event you are asking your guests to attend.” — Heather Wiese-Alexander, owner, Bell’Invito Letterpress Studio
Requesting the honor of their presence: Heather Wiese-Alexander of Bell’Invito Letterpress Studio gives you the perfect primer for a traditional invitation.
For your save-the-date:
• Send six to eight months ahead of the wedding. • Only include the names of the couple to be married — no parents. • Set the tone for the invitation to come, without revealing too much. • Send six to eight months ahead of the wedding.
For your invitation:
• When talking to your stationer, ask that the minimum weight of the card stock be 600 g/sm (grams per square meter) for European paper and 200 lb for domestically produced paper. • Painted or gilt-edged papers are a lovely way to add color, dress up or finish off a formal wedding invitation. • The outer mailing envelope should be lined if there is no inner envelope, and should not be lined if there is an inner envelope.• Your invitation should contain the appropriate, traditional wording, fully spelled out — dates and all. • An all-script or calligraphy invitation has historically been required. A well-designed, properly spaced invitation that mixes no more than two opposite typestyles is appropriate. • Printing should be engraving or letterpress. • The cost of postage should be covered by a single, elegant stamp. Never affix multiples.
Image at top: Photograph Thom Jackson for Photo Division, Dallas. Model Alex Long for Kim Dawson Agency. Styling Jon Tutolo, makeup Ro Vielma, both for Kim Dawson Agency. Hair Mateo Sifuentes for Halo Salon. Alex wears Ralph Lauren lace ruffled blouse with crystal detail $3,298, at the Ralph Lauren boutique, Neiman Marcus. Custom headpiece, special order through Grange Hall.