Matthew McConaughey Wants to Rock You to Sleep

“Well hello there. I’m Matthew McConaughey and tonight I’ll be reading a special sleep story called Wonder,” begins the new bedtime story narrated by the mega star for the meditation app called Calm. This is an app that aims to teach you how to meditate and get a more restful sleep through breathing exercises, music and sleep stories.

I accidentally bought the $60 annual subscription to this app when I let the seven-day free trial run over and was automatically charged. At first, I was pretty irritated, as I was only using the app about once a week and wasn’t planning on committing to another year of forcing myself to relax.

So after only using it occasionally, when I randomly remembered or began to have some sort of anxiety attack over the future or how I just spent my entire paycheck on flat whites from Magnolias, I was pleasantly surprised when I found out about the new Matthew McConaughey sleep story.

I’ve never felt closer to McConaughey, even while I stood 10 or so feet away from him on the field sideline at a University of Texas football game back in October, intently staring at him while he pounded his chest and put up his horns instead of watching the game. Listening to him speak in a dreamy tone about “pondering the depth of the present moment” and “allowing ourselves to be moved and inspired,” made that accidental purchase completely worth it.

Author of Wonder, Chris Advansun, wrote the most soothing 35-minute story about a grandfather explaining the magic of the universe and of life itself to his young granddaughter for listeners to drift off to sleep to. McConaughey’s delivery is as satisfying as whenever he says “Alright, alright, alright.”

I could see this as a great Christmas gift for the continually stressed out father, your mom who not-so secretly wishes she was married to Matthew McConaughey, or that extended relative who you don’t really know what else to get.