Real Thoughts Watching The Real Housewives of Dallas

It’s been a minute since I’ve felt compelled to write about our Real Housewives of Dallas. I did get a little distracted during that historic winter storm, but then the whole Austin trip proved to be, frankly, a bummer. Sure, The Echelon (you can book the nine bedroom home on Lake Austin here) was cool to look at, but there was nothing fun about watching all the women (apart from D’Andra) gang up on Tiffany. And for what? For showing off her closet or the amount of Toto toilets in her house? This is a Housewives show; she’s just giving the people what they want! Owning an exorbitant amount of commodes is absolutely somebody’s aspiration.

And then there’s the Brandi of it all, projecting insecurities about her own racial ignorance onto Tiffany, who literally has to say in a confessional, “I cannot change that I am Asian. If that makes you uncomfortable that’s your problem.” Yikes. And all of this airing as Asian American hate crimes are on the rise in the U.S. Double yikes. All the yikes.

Tiffany is one of the best additions The Real Housewives of Dallas has cast has ever had, and I really hope she isn’t driven away. This recent Vice interview has me worried. Brandi does seem to have announced her own departure from the series on Instagram, so there’s that. When Brandi is good, she’s a fun Housewife. But when she’s bad, it can be beyond tough to watch.

Speaking of highs and lows, this episode was as filled with them as Tiffany’s birthday party was full of free, balloon-shaped advertising for Lushra. Let’s talk about it.

HIGH: Kameron and the snake.
This sequence had it all. Kameron becoming a snake rights activist while sheepishly confessing to owning a python skin bag. I laughed. I almost cried. What a moment in Dallas history.

LOW: Shaman shaming.
Religion is deeply personal, but if something — no matter how woo woo or how Darrin — is working for someone, just let them have it.

HIGH: Tiffany getting more time off to find herself.
And a homemade charcuterie board!

LOW: Kameron having to check Zillow to see what’s going on with her house.
Court, my guy, this storyline feels straight out of I Love Lucy (or the first episode of WandaVision) and I don’t mean that in a good way. Tell your wife stuff.

HIGH: Kameron calling out Mama Dee in her testimonial.
This moment both shocked and delighted me. I hope Kameron has been safely placed in witness protection for the foreseeable future though.

HIGH: Editorial flourishes. 

The D’Andraconda sequence. The Midsommar references! Add The Real Housewives of Dallas editors to the long list of egregious Golden Globe snubs.

https://twitter.com/gibsonoma/status/1372004951589855233?s=20

LOW: Where’s Stephanie?
She had about as much to say at the group hangs this episode (and most episodes this season) as Jen, a woman with incredible hair who was clearly intended to be a main cast member at some point, but now Bravo just seems to be editing around. I like both of these women a lot (to be fair, I’m mainly just going off Jen’s vibes since she never gets to speak). Let’s get them in the conversational mix!