Real Thoughts Watching The Real Housewives of Dallas

It’s fun to hear what predominately New York or Los Angeles-based podcasters think of The Real Housewives of Dallas. Casey Wilson and Danielle Schneider of “Bitch Sesh” believe Kameron Westcott is a star, and that Tiffany’s conversation with Brandi at the season’s first party was pitch perfect. “Comments By Celebs” has thoughts on the Stephanie and Travis dynamic. Danny Pellegrino thinks certain screen grabs of that creepy head on the stick D’Andra called “Captain Brandi” were some of the “best shots in film and television history.”

“This is art,” he says, jokingly but earnestly. “I know people aren’t looking at The Real Housewives of Dallas as art, but I believe it to be.”

Dallas doesn’t get nearly the media attention of a RHONY, Atlanta, Beverly Hills, or even Salt Lake City, but the people who do watch it seem to generally dig it. Anyway, the ladies made pizza this week. Here’s what stood out.

Kameron seems to be angling to write an etiquette book. Maybe from the point of view of her dog? (I’m available to ghost write.) Her intensity about etiquette would definitely be annoying in real life, but in the context of this show, which is essentially a soap opera, I appreciate the pettiness. Now that LeeAnne is gone, the show feels lighter — as do the arguments. Tension over whether or not it’s OK to tell your guests your adult pizza party has to end at 10:30pm is exactly the kind of low-stakes drama my mind needs right now.

I am so soothed and comforted by Mr. Moon. He clearly has no idea what his wife has signed up for, but he’s supportive nevertheless. And he makes wine.

Sure, the Moons have a $15,000 imported Italian pizza oven. But remember Cary Deuber’s $75,000 French-blue Molteni stove? Let’s see that bake off!

I’m going to start keeping a weekly “Girl” (as in, “Hey, girl!”) count. Even D’Andra’s shaman said it.

One of my favorite things about Housewives is that a woman will hire a hair and makeup team just to host a pizza party at her house. It’s so silly. But it’s also exactly the kind of constructed glamour that makes these shows such fun escapism. Just silly, stupid fun.

I get it. You don’t want to eat what you don’t want to eat. (You don’t have to be rude about it, but still.) That being said, crickets aren’t that wild. When Flora Street Café was open in the Dallas Arts District, the menu featured a fancy appetizer covered in crickets. Stephen Pyle’s dishes did tend to be on the more eclectic side, but I don’t remember people losing their minds over it.

Tiffany was right. That party was bad. But clearly part of her mission in joining the show was to learn how to relax and let loose with a group of girlfriends. She’ll figure it out.

If anyone out there guessed the city of Austin based on the riddle “What’s wet, long, thin, hot, and down south?”, you deserve a lifetime supply of SparkleDog food, Hard Night Good Morning’s L22 elixir, a Keta-mine Candle, this Kamo by Kary necklace (the one from the Twitter feud!), and a Hollman locker.