Coronavirus Hair Dilemmas — the Best Crazy Good DIY Hairstyles For When You Can’t Get a Cut

What’s up with your hair?

It’s a fair question, since, let’s face it, none of us are going to be getting an appointment at a legit salon or barbershop anytime soon. It looks like we are still at least a month away from that in major metro areas ― with stay-at-home orders extended until at least May in most areas. Coronavirus hair is a real thing.

Things are bound to get fluffy, so why not flaunt it?

Thanks to J. R. Ewing and the gang, Texans have been saddled with that “big hair” ethos for a long time now. And we can’t seem to shake that iconic image of Farrah Fawcett ― with her white-white teeth and her frosted and feathered locks.

If we’re honest, there’s some truth to the stereotype. Admit it, big hair and Final Net ruled the day for generations. If you weren’t a part of the solution. . . you were part of the problem. Now, thanks to Covid-19, we are about to be back in business — in a big hair way.

Just because you can’t get a cut, color or coif, doesn’t mean you can’t express yourself. If there was ever a time to experiment with a new ‘do, now is that time.

I’ve seen some folks online that are going for a bold color change. Kool-Aid anyone?

While I understand that extended quarantining can really get to you, messing with your mind and dulling your decision making ― just remember that if you decide to cut or color your own hair, you should also save up the funds for your stylist to repair the damage come May or June. I’m afraid we’re all in for a little sticker shock.

Coronavirus Hairstyles for Women

In lieu of your regularly scheduled appointment, there are plenty of self-styling options to consider. Let’s start with those tried and true Little House on the Prairie pigtail braids. No need to wear the pioneer bonnet, if you feel it’s old-fashioned. . . in fact if you turn them around, those bonnets would make excellent face masks anyway.

Once you get the gist of plating your hair into entry level braids, you open up a world of options. Anna and Elsa rocked shoulder-length braids in Frozen II, so this style is still very much on trend. If you add some floral wire to mix, you can let those braids off the leash ― channeling your inner Pippi Longstocking.

Have fun with it. Braids are great way to tame your massive mane, just don’t get all Game of Thrones on us.

Likewise, ponytails have a universal appeal. Wear them low or high, messy or sleek. You can even wrap them up in Princess Leia ear buns if you like. But, please — enough with the top knot hair horns.

And in case you haven’t noticed, the bun is making a real comeback. You might consider the simple ballerina bun, or craft your own fresh-from-the-fryer donut bun. On second thought, that will just make everyone you’re quarantined with hungry again — and they probably just finished their second breakfast already. Or, who can forget Cloris Leachman’s classic schoolmarm bun as Frau Blücher in Young Frankenstein? It might even lend a little credibility to your new role as homeschool substitute teacher.

If all else fails, pile on a smattering of barrettes, or keep control with claw clips. Ladies, now might be the perfect moment to dust off your old banana clip and take it out for a spin. I’m pretty sure it’s still in the back of that drawer ― at least mine is.

Coronavirus Hairstyles for Men

Shaggy and bearded seems to be the current craze for men. It’s the Wild West out there ― anything goes. The mountain man look is having a moment right now, just don’t get too Nick Nolte on us and shift into giveup mode.

I hear a lot of men are threatening a mullet. A mullet might just work. After all, Zoom meetings are all business from the shoulders up, and all party from the waist down anyway. No one needs to know what’s going on back there. Just look straight into the webcam.

I mean, the Tiger King kept it classy, right? Oh no. They’re telling me he actually didn’t. Sorry I didn’t watch it myself.

The really good news for gents is this ― no product, no problem. I know you are used to toiling over your hairstyle, armed with an arsenal of creams, gels and pomades ― wrangling every wisp into place, but expectations have been lowered drastically during the current pandemic.

If you ran out of product, because your man parlor closed, we’ll give you a pass. Just breathe. We’re all in this together.

On the other hand, why not try a real retro style? Bring back the oiled-hair look of yesteryear. Think Elvis from Roustabout or Dean Martin from Something’s Got to Give. Your grandfather pulled this look off to stunning effect and so did Johnny Cash. I think it’s worth a reboot.

Rummage around in the pantry, I’m sure there is some salad oil or Crisco in there somewhere. A dab will do. Just comb it through and you’re good to go ― nowhere. Seriously, you’re not going anywhere for at least another month.

You might as well have fun with your hair.