It’s been a year hasn’t it? Please take my italicization of year to indicate a stretched out, exaggerated pronunciation of the word. In a tone that’s not necessarily defeated, but simply tired, worn out, and unable to fully encompass the array of anxieties 2020 has introduced. Most importantly, please recognize those italics as a cry for help from a girl desperately in need of some restorative time.
It’s a somewhat timely meltdown, though, because this Monday, Neiman Marcus carried on a decades-long Dallas tradition and unveiled their 2020 Fantasy Gifts. Given that I am not — much to my disappointment — a one percenter, the annual array of extravagant offerings has always lived up to the “Fantasy” moniker. I could never actually afford the private jet to the exclusive destination, or rent out the iconic downtown department store for a sleepover, but it’s pretty fun to delve into the ins and outs of what those experiences might entail. Maybe someday (!), I’d think as I pulled up the “Under $100” section of the Goop Gift Guide.
The 2020 Fantasy Gifts are as wild and escapist as ever (you can work with Jonathan Adler and the Assouline family, or enjoy a year’s worth of curated wine from the Montage Healdsburg), but one of them hit me hard. It wasn’t so much a want, it was a need. It was “A Year of Wellness.”
A whole year of wellness (those italics indicate excitement), and not just any old wellness. The fine print includes four individual weeklong stays at Canyon Ranch, the famous health-centric resort with locations in Arizona, Massachusetts, and Woodside, California. What do you get to do at Canyon Ranch, you may ask? Literally anything. You and a guest will receive, and I quote, “unlimited services.” That means full access to the spa in addition to a team of nutritionists, sleep experts, and more people who can help you better run your own life. How do you get there, you might inquire? By the personal, private Jet Linx of course. Please keep up!
And though a $10,000 charitable donation will be made to the Heart of Neiman Marcus foundation in honor of whoever purchases the Canyon Ranch gift for the cool price of $345,000, the year of wellness will have to remain a fantasy for me right now. And that’s OK. Some might wonder why, in a year as tumultuous as this, the Dallas department store would move forward with a list of expensive experiences, which is totally fair. But to me, that annual list of gifts has always been a fantastical, almost absurdist escape. When everything is chaos, it’s almost comforting to partake in an annual moment to fantasize.