Texas State Fair Reveals New Insane Food Offerings

There are few places in the world where corn dogs can pass as a healthy meal, but the State Fair of Texas is one of them.

The Fair’s revealed the 10 Finalists for the 2017 Big Tex Choice Awards – aka the olympics of fried food – and the competing dishes are as insane as you’d expect.

This year the fair is breaking the competition into savory and sweet categories, choosing five finalists for each one. One dish will be crowned “Best Taste – Sweet,” one will be crowned “Best Taste – Savory,” and one of the 10 will win “Most Creative.”

Without further ado, let’s take a look at the 2017 Big Tex Choice Awards Finalists.

In the savory category we have…

Deep Fried Chicken Noodle Soup on a Stick

What else is there to say? Chicken soup is somehow fried in ball form, skewered, and then poked with little holes to be filled with broth.

Chefs of the state fair enjoy frying things that seemingly can’t be fried, and Big Tex often recognizes their initiative. Last year Fried Jell-O took home the grand prize, and previous award winners include Fried Beer, Fried Bubblegum, Deep Fried Butter and Fried Coke.

Chicken noodle soup seems a little wholesome for Big Tex’s taste, but it does have the difficult-to-fry factor working for it.

Texas Fajita Fries

This brings deep fried beef fajita strips stuffed inside a bread cone with Texas toothpicks (fried onions and jalapeños), served with pico de gallo and sour cream guacamole hot sauce.

We could care less about the Texas toothpicks and guac sauce, though they sound kind of intriguing. The main point here is the fajita fries.

Making fries out of beef is truly an act of Texan ingenuity, and we are shocked that it took until 2017 for someone to figure it out.

Surfin’ Turfin’ Tator Boat

A baked potato is loaded with roasted garlic butter, lobster meat marinated in lemon herb butter, seasoned steak, and cheddar and romano cheeses. A single empress cut lobster claw reaches out, as if drowning in a pool of butter. Served with a side of lemon butter for dipping.

Funnel Cake Bacon Queso Burger

Two funnel cakes serve as a bun for bacon, queso, and burger patty. The whole thing is dusted with powdered sugar, because of course it is. This is the Texas State Fair and too much is never enough. Now finish your funnel cake burger or you can’t have dessert!

The Tamale Donut

Slow-cooked pork carnitas and masa are formed into rings and deep fried. Other than the shape, there’s nothing donut-y about it, and we’re grateful for that. It’s just a crispy, deep-fried tamale – which seems beautifully simple after the aforementioned funnel cake burger.

And on the sweet side…

Deep-Fried Froot Loops

The frooty cereal is mixed with marshmallow fluff to resemble Rice Krispy Treats, then battered, fried, drizzled with glaze, and dusted with powdered sugar. From this point on, just assume everything is dusted powdered sugar.

Pinot Noir Popcorn

Do you like wine and cheese? What about popcorn? Do you ever wish you could eat all of those things at once? No? Well now you can.

Kettle corn is generously dusted with burgundy Pinot Noir wine powder and paired with cheddar cheese flavors for a sweet-and-salty-and-winey snack.

Gulf Coast Fish Bowl

A drinkable aquarium! Nerds candies are the gravel, and swedish fish swim in a boozy sea of “specially-formulated” blue drank. There’s a pineapple ring on top, so it’s probably the healthiest item on this list.

Fried Texas Sheet Cake

Get ready for this one. Fudgy brownie cake is rolled in crushed cocoa puffs, panko, and cinnamon sugar, then deep fried. Hot from the fryer, the cake is topped with Dr. Pepper glaze, a dollop of whipped cream, Texas pecans, and a strawberry carved into a rose.

Fat Smooth

With a name like that it’s got to be good. This dessert consists of three Belgium mini cream puffs on a stick which are covered in Cafe Du Monde beignet batter and fried, dusted with powdered sugar, and drizzled with caramel and chocolate sauce.

Feeling brave? You can try all 10 of these outrageous creations at the Big Tex Choice Awards on Sunday, August 27. Purchase tickets to the event here.