An Absurd Batgate and Aaron Boone’s Constant Whining Proves the Yankees Still Can’t Get the Astros Out Of Their Heads

Aaron Boone whines more than a 1980s tennis star whenever the Houston Astros are around. The New York Yankees manager just can’t seem to help himself, forever acting more wronged than a Twitter troll who lives in his parents’ basement by. . . well, everything. Even as the Yankees take the series in Houston, Boone is huffing and stomping around Daikin Park, getting Astros outfielder Taylor Trammell ‘s bat confiscated in a bizarre bottom of the ninth scene, acting like the most put-upon man in baseball.

“I don’t know,” Boone shoots back when asked about high his exasperation level is after Yankees 8, Astros 4 and specifically third baseman Ryan McMahon’s nonchalantly assumed catch that umpire Brian Walsh rules a trap. “What’s the scale? I don’t know. Just. . . yeah. Just. . . We overcame it.”

This is the winning manager? An Instagram influencer who doesn’t get what they want on Facebook Marketplace displays more composure.

Boone and the Yankees continue to show that the Astros hold a permanent spot in their heads.

Even with the Astros losing two out of three in this series, Joe Espada’s team does enough to keep its lead in the American League West over the Seattle Mariners and their hold on the Yankees’ psyche. Take Batgate, absurd style. Rather than just take his win and move on to Toronto, Boone accuses Taylor Trammell of using an illegal bat (even as he later claims he’s not accusing him in the postgame) after Trammell doubles in the bottom of ninth. It is a move that Boone has apparently been planning to do all day.

“It was just something that we noticed this series and asked the league about,” Boone says from behind the desk of the manager’s office in the visiting clubhouse. “You’re not allowed to do anything to your bat. I’m not saying he was. I just. . . we noticed and the league thought it maybe was illegal too.”

So Trammell’s bat is taken away at the end of the night, escorted out of the ballpark to be examined by Major League Baseball. Trammell professes bewilderment at the situation.

Welcome to the wacky, whining world of Aaron Boone. Anyone who’s raised a kid knows the feeling from the toddler years.

“The discoloration was on the label like,” Boone says. “I don’t know if it was just natural or if it was sand. . . I don’t know. I don’t want to accuse Taylor. I’m not saying anything untowards.”

Boone doesn’t want to accuse Trammell. He’s just interrupting the game in the ninth inning and demanding a bat check for fun! Or something like that.

The whole thing has layers of absurdity, but it also speaks to just how heated this Astros-Yankees rivalry remains. The Yankees just can’t get it the idea of the Astros pulling one over on them out of their head. While forgetting about that letter that confirmed MLB’s haughtier-than-thou franchise stole signs in the 2015 and 2016 seasons using the replay review room before the Astros’ own sign stealing scandal that Yankees fans continue to freak out about.

It does not matter how many times the Yankees beat the Astros in the regular season. Unless they can ever finally do it in the playoffs, the psyche out remains. The mind meld that Jose Altuve, Yordan Alvarez and everything Astros have over the Yankees somehow seems as strong as ever.

“The discoloration was on the label like. I don’t know if it was just natural or if it was sand. . . I don’t know. I don’t want to accuse Taylor. I’m not saying anything untowards.” — Yankees manager Aaron Boone

Aaron Boone Whines On

Of course, the Astros’ 8-7 win in game two of this series helped, bringing some of the old roaring back.

There is a different sound at Houston’s downtown ballpark when the Astros are rolling, when the energy is really flowing, when baseball’s most resilient franchise senses another big moment, when the doubts are howling, and somebody needs to brace the door. On the first Wednesday night of September, for maybe the first real time this entire season at Daikin Park, that sound returns. And it’s roaring. And absolutely glorious.

A night after being thoroughly embarrassed by the Yankees, with would be co-ace Framber Valdez arguably embarrassing himself (depending on who you want to believe and how willing you are to dip into the often insane world of baseball Twitter and YouTube conspiracy theories), Joe Espada’s team shows the fight everybody needs to see. Falling down 3-0 and 4-1 to the Yankees’ scorching band of bombers, these Astros shrug off the doom seemingly encroaching.

Yordan Alvarez and Company look it in the eyes and wink. Once again. Somehow. Some will. As always.

It is only one win in a series the Yankees take on the following night, rolling away in an eighth inning that no doubt left some Astros fans wishing they’d stayed home to watch the NFL’s high-production-value interrupted season opener instead. But it’s enough. The Astros are not playing that well, much of the pitching rotation outside of Hunter Brown carries question marks and a second straight short October is in play. Then again, this team has its championship heart and Yordan Alvarez. And in this season without super teams that gives Jim Crane’s franchise at least a chance.

Yordan is a wonder to watch, following up one four hit night with another. The hulking thinking man’s masher who causes other Major League hitters to chuckle in wonder finishes 8 for 10 in this Yankees series (after sitting out game one under the Astros’ healthy return plan for him) with exit velocities that look like speeds clocked on the Autobahn.

Aaron Boone will probably whine that Yordan is something out of Alien: Earth next. Definitely not all human.

The specter of Yordan won’t just spook the Yankees in the playoffs. It makes the Astros believe.

“Yordan Alvarez,” Espada says. “The lineup’s just so much different when the big boy’s in it. He’s dynamic.”

Aaron Boone will probably whine that Yordan is something out of Alien: Earth next. Definitely not all human.

“I’m just glad he’s on my team right now,” Astros pitcher Jason Akexander says. “He’s great to have back. And he’s being felt right away. . . He’s one of the best in the game.”

Yet, the night ends with Taylor Trammell’s bat wrapped in a towel being taken away by an MLB authenticator for its impending inspection. The guy escorting the bat notes that he was involved in the Chris Sabo corked bat incident in 1996 too. Of course that one was obvious with cracked open evidence — and not created by a whining Yankees manager.

Aaron Freaking Boone. Forever driven mad by the Houston Astros.

Check out more of Chris Baldwin’s columns and inside stories on PaperCity Houston.